Monophobia
by TheRedRoseOfYaoi
Summary: Monophobia: the fear of being alone. One shot. Shounen-ai, H/C


Why was life worth it? No one liked his paintings, and he hadn't had the mental energy to raise a brush to canvas for the last week.

Sasuke was depressed. Again. His boyfriend of three years had left him. Had moved away, and left him alone in a life where no one cared about him. His family was all either dead or unknown to him, and he never really made friends, or he'd make a friend and they wouldn't like what they got to know.

Saturday morning, Sasuke wore black jeans, a non-descript short sleeve shirt, plain shoes and a dark coloured sweater.

He wandered through the park, not really taking anything in. He spent ages in his favorite bookstore, seeing all the books he'd never read, much as he may have wanted to. He walked through the busy shopping district, not going in anywhere, just blowing around like a lost child. He went to his favorite restaurant for his last meal, leaving an unusually large tip.

Finally, he made the long walk to the bridge. Looking over the edge where the water was deepest, he tried to picture himself leaping into the freezing waters.

And he leaned further. And he was leaning so far forward he would fall, and he knew that. Then he was falling. Suddenly though, he wasn't falling forwards, but backwards. Someone had pulled him, and he fell back onto the bridge, landing on the person.

"What the hell were you thinking, Teme?? You were about to fall off! I don't care if you're some adrenaline junkie, you should know enough to know how dangerous that was!" whoever was under him ranted angrily.

Quickly Sasuke got up off of them, and when they got up, He found himself face to face with a tall blond boy, probably around his own age.

"Well?" he asked.

"Well, what?" Sasuke asked back.

"Aren't you going to thank me? And why were you standing there in the first place?" he explained, as if it was obvious. "Dobe. I'm not going to thank you, of course not. I was about to jump. As in suicide."

"What? Why would you do that?" he grabbed Sasuke's shoulders and shook him. "nothing is worth taking your life! Don't you get that?"

Brushing off his hands Sasuke went back to the rail. "It's not what is, it's what isn't." he whispered.

Again, the blond grabbed him and pulled him backwards. This time he grabbed his wrist and practically dragged him off the bridge. When he brought Sasuke to an apartment building a few blocks away, he finally asked "Where are we going? Who are you?"

"I'm taking you to my place, because I know that if you're alone tonight, you'll kill yourself. And I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I never got your name either."

"Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke replied, though he don't know why.

They took the elevator up to the second last floor, and the last door on the hall. Stepping in, the two entered a large western style apartment.

"You can put your coat on the couch." Naruto offered.

Silently, Sasuke took a seat on the previously indicated couch, and he sat at the other one across from it.

"Why'd you stop me?" Sasuke thought to ask after a few minutes.

"Wouldn't you have done the same thing? Would you have honestly let someone take their own life if you were able to stop them?" he replied eventually. "Why were you going to jump?"

"I was in a relationship for 3 years, and a week ago they moved away. Didn't tell me till it was too late to say anything. I'm completely alone. And I'm out of work, because I can't keep up a job, and the art everyone loved stopped coming."

"No one is really 'Alone.'" Naruto replied.

"I haven't had friends since high school, the people I work around avoid me, and my family is all dead. That seems pretty alone to me." He countered.

"....You have me." Sasuke looked up at him, but his head was down.

"I don't know my family either. And everyone finds me annoying."

Suddenly he was seeing someone who thought that he was someone. Sasuke could relate to him, and knew that he wasn't alone. Though he had only know him for an hour at best, but he though he was falling in love with this blond angel.

Yes, he was annoying, but he felt important for the first time in too long.

Again the silence, then Naruto got up and opened one of the doors.

"You can stay in my guest room tonight, if you'd like to." he offered.

"Thank you." Sasuke said, following him.

The guest room was probably better than most hotel suites. It was a large room, with a queen sized bed covered in a red quilt, with a small winding iron end table next to it. There was a tv, and an enormous window looking out over the city.

Right by the doorway into the room was a bookshelf with a framed photo of Naruto standing next to a girl with pink hair. Naruto noticed he had seen the picture.

"Old girlfriend?" Sasuke asked.

"Classmate, actually. I haven't heard from her in about 4 years. Neither of us was interested in the other." he explained.

"Ahh. What year did you graduate?" he probed.

"2005. What year were you?" he responded.

"Same as you. If you don't mind my asking, how is someone like you single? I'd have thought someone like you would at least have a girlfriend...I hope that wasn't too personal."

Naruto simply laughed "I get that every so often. I'm waiting for my right someone...." he hesitated on the last part.

"Oh. I think I understand that, or I once understood it. I can't quite say."

To much shock, Naruto came over and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, and Sasuke slowly moved his arms into an embrace as well.

Then he quickly drew away and said "Well, I'm sure you're tired. I'll let you get to sleep." and he quickly escaped the room.

Sasuke was left standing in confusion, then realized just how exhausted he was. Silently he stripped down to his boxers, and slid under the thick quilt, falling into a deep sleep almost immediately.

-----

The next morning Sasuke awoke in a strange bed, in a strange house. For a time he lay thinking that he had finally killed myself yesterday, and this was death. Then he remembered the bridge, and the blond and following him home.

Finally he sat up and made his way to the bathroom attached to the room.

When Sasuke looked in the mirror, he saw a tired face, bruise coloured circles around dark pupils with a spark of hope.

The clock visible in the other room said it was 9:30 so he decided to shower quickly.

He turned on the hot water, then pulled off his boxers and stood under the steaming water, making his muscles relax. After the shower he dried off and put on his clothes from the previous day.

Finally he moved into the living room where Naruto looked up from a book he was reading. Seeing Sasuke, he smiled.

"Morning." Sasuke greeted.

"Morning," he replied "Coffee?"

"Please. Thank you for letting me stay here. I think it's actually helping me get my head straight. I don't feel alone anymore." he explained, taking the offered coffee.

"Not a problem. No one else has been here since I moved in. It's nice having a guest."

After that they sat in a calm silence, drinking coffee and reading.

When it got to 11, Sasuke realized he should probably go back home.

"Well, I think I should probably go back home. Once again, thank you for everything." he said as he stood up. "Wait!" Naruto insisted "Would you like a ride?"

"If it wouldn't trouble you, please." he replied. Naruto smiled happily "No trouble at all."

Sasuke's heart sped up when Naruto smiled. How had this person become so important to him so quickly?

Naruto's car was a little, blue smart car. The half kilometer ride to Sasuke's was quiet.

Arriving home, Sasuke asked if Naruto would like to come in for a cup of tea. Naruto politely accepted.

Now, unlike Naruto's sprawling western style apartment, Sasuke lived in a relatively small loft; bedroom, living room with kitchen attached, bathroom and his studio.

Sasuke was an artist. He was less known, but gaining popularity. His works were detailed still lifes with a Gothic and haunting feel. The kind of picture you gaze at, trying to understand why the river runs with blood.

Naruto seemed to fall in love with them. He stared at one of a guilder mirror with a black rose in a pool of red blood seen through the shattered reflection.

"You-like it?" Sasuke asked.

As if coming out of a trance he started, then replied "Yes. It makes me feel a great loneliness, like there was once someone there, but no longer."

"You understand," he said, surprised, then explained "I've shown a few dealers, and they haven't understood it."

Quickly Sasuke unpinned the canvas from the wall and rolled it up, then held it out to Naruto.

"What-"

"I want this painting to belong to someone who understands it. That's why I didn't sell it." Sasuke explained.

Naruto took it, and smiled. "Thank you! I'll put it up right away."

After that, Sasuke let Naruto look around more, while he went to make tea.

5 minutes later, Sasuke came back with a tray with a small teapot and two cups. He offered Naruto a cup of green tea.

For a while the two discussed Sasuke's art. When Naruto looked at his watch and saw that it was 6 he stood up.

"I'm sorry. It's getting late, I should probably get out of your way now."

Sasuke didn't say anything, so Naruto made his way to the door. He was about to open it, when a hand shot past his head to hold the door shut.

"Please," Sasuke said weakly "Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me alone. I can't keep living alone. I can't-" Sasuke cut off when he felt Naruto's hand grip his wrist.

Quickly Naruto turned around and pressed his lips to Sasuke's. After a second and Sasuke didn't move, he stopped, and let go of Sasuke's hand.

"I-I'm sorry. I thought-" He started.

Then Sasuke was kissing Naruto; and neither could have stopped if they had wanted to. Sasuke braced his hands on the door, pushing Naruto into the door, and they slowly slid to the ground.

Sasuke felt a passion to keep something dear to him close, while Naruto felt the burning heat of love in the mouth of this dark haired man.

Finally Sasuke sat up for air - maybe more like the fifth time for air, actually - and looked at Naruto.

"Was this wrong? I can't stand to lose another. Everyone has left me, plenty of times they left me for 'him'. I need someone. I need you. Please, don't leave me!" Sasuke pleaded as he broke down into wracking sobs.

Gently Naruto pulled Sasuke into his arms and held him as he wept.

Quietly he whispered soothing words.

"I won't leave you. I won't leave you, like everyone else left you; like they left me..."

~*~*~*~A/N~*~*~*~

I don't suffer from anything like depression. I know people with depression, though this may not be an accurate representation. After writing this I seriously wondered of I should post this, but since it is an anonymous way of sharing stories, I decided to post this. Thank you.


End file.
